Husband: This is stupidest episode ever. Or the most stupid? Or maybe I mean stupider than most?
Me: I hate the word "stupider" - It's stupid!
Husband: ::laughing::
Friday, July 29
Me: You get paid again on the 7th, right?
Husband: Yes, why?
Me: I think I'll wait until then to transfer money to the other account.
Husband: Unless of course the budget bill doesn't pass, the government may decide not to pay contractors.
Me: I thought of that, that's why I'm waiting.
Husband: Good idea
Me: Unless of course we won the lottery, I haven't checked my numbers yet. If we won then we could live anywhere we want - We could move to Paris.
Husband: Why would we want to do that?
Me: Yeah, I know. I don't want to live in Paris either
Husband: ::In a very innocent tone of voice, all kinda childlike with wonder:: It's filled with Frenchmen!
Me: ::laughing so hard I choked on the piece of candy I was eating::
Husband: ::innocently:: Why is that so funny?
Me: It's the way you said it.
Husband: Yes, why?
Me: I think I'll wait until then to transfer money to the other account.
Husband: Unless of course the budget bill doesn't pass, the government may decide not to pay contractors.
Me: I thought of that, that's why I'm waiting.
Husband: Good idea
Me: Unless of course we won the lottery, I haven't checked my numbers yet. If we won then we could live anywhere we want - We could move to Paris.
Husband: Why would we want to do that?
Me: Yeah, I know. I don't want to live in Paris either
Husband: ::In a very innocent tone of voice, all kinda childlike with wonder:: It's filled with Frenchmen!
Me: ::laughing so hard I choked on the piece of candy I was eating::
Husband: ::innocently:: Why is that so funny?
Me: It's the way you said it.
Wednesday, July 27
Me: ::seeing husband hunched over working on laptop:: Do you need more light over there?
Husband: No, I can see fine.
Me: Then why are you hunched over and squinting?
Husband: It's that problem with my glasses, if I sit back I can't see the screen too well.
Me: What happened to those drugstore reading glasses we bought?
Husband: They didn't work.
Me: Where are they?
Husband: In the drawer.
Me: Why are we keeping them?
Husband: I don't know. They didn't work.
Me: So I can throw them out?
Husband: They didn't work.
Me: ::gets up, goes to china cabinet, opens drawer, gets two pairs of reading glasses, tosses them in the trash::
Me: Well, they're gone now.
Husband: They didn't work.
Husband: No, I can see fine.
Me: Then why are you hunched over and squinting?
Husband: It's that problem with my glasses, if I sit back I can't see the screen too well.
Me: What happened to those drugstore reading glasses we bought?
Husband: They didn't work.
Me: Where are they?
Husband: In the drawer.
Me: Why are we keeping them?
Husband: I don't know. They didn't work.
Me: So I can throw them out?
Husband: They didn't work.
Me: ::gets up, goes to china cabinet, opens drawer, gets two pairs of reading glasses, tosses them in the trash::
Me: Well, they're gone now.
Husband: They didn't work.
Tuesday, July 26
Husband: I'm going into D.C. tomorrow
Me: My pedicure appointment is tomorrow
Husband: Well be careful, watch where you walk, don't forget your keys, lock the doors...
Me: I'm not an idiot you know
Husband: But that's what you always say to me
Me: Yes, but that's because sometimes you are a little...vague.
Me: My pedicure appointment is tomorrow
Husband: Well be careful, watch where you walk, don't forget your keys, lock the doors...
Me: I'm not an idiot you know
Husband: But that's what you always say to me
Me: Yes, but that's because sometimes you are a little...vague.
Friday, July 22
Me: ::waving hands around the area that used to have coat tree and smiling::
Husband: You really like how everything looks now, don't you?
Me: Yes -and my office is just about perfection - just need those new doors.
Husband: It has taken a while but I think we have finally got it right.
Me: All the money we wasted - starting with buying this house in the first place.
Husband: ::tired laugh::
Husband: You really like how everything looks now, don't you?
Me: Yes -and my office is just about perfection - just need those new doors.
Husband: It has taken a while but I think we have finally got it right.
Me: All the money we wasted - starting with buying this house in the first place.
Husband: ::tired laugh::
Tuesday, July 19
Husband: I have some bad news.
Me: WHAT!!!!
Husband: The city won't pick up electronics.
Me: That is not BAD news. That is annoying pissant news. Don't scare me like that. Bad news is like, you know - BAAAAD news.
Me: WHAT!!!!
Husband: The city won't pick up electronics.
Me: That is not BAD news. That is annoying pissant news. Don't scare me like that. Bad news is like, you know - BAAAAD news.
Thursday, July 14 2011
Me: (reading the NYT Home section) ::Laughing::
Husband: Something funny?
Me: This ad - the company's name is "Big Ass Fans"
Husband: Oh? What do they sell?
Me: (showing him the paper) BIG.ASS.FANS.
Husband: Something funny?
Me: This ad - the company's name is "Big Ass Fans"
Husband: Oh? What do they sell?
Me: (showing him the paper) BIG.ASS.FANS.
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