Me: Is today Thursday or Friday?
Husband: Friday.
Me: And I thought yesterday was Saturday. I'm good!
Time: Approximately 2:45pm
Me: What time do you think the food will get delivered?
Husband: Between 3 and 5.
Me: Not an acceptable answer.
Husband: What would be an acceptable answer?
Me: 3:45 - So what time do you think the food will get delivered.
Husband: I don't know.
Me: What kind of candy did you buy for Halloween?
Husband: A couple of bags of stuff.
Me: What kind of stuff?
Husband: Oh, this and that.
Me: You're really precise today, aren't you?
Time: Approximately 3:45pm
Husband: I think the food is here - there's a truck but it doesn't have writing on it.
Me: HA!
Husband: Yup, it's the food delivery guy.
Me: HA! - it's 3:48! I said 3:45 - I win!
Husband to delivery guy: You're working alone today? Too bad.
Delivery Guy: So sad...
Wednesday, October 26th
In the morning -
Me: I put out new toothbrushes.
Husband: Good, I was thinking they needed to be changed. What color is mine?
Me: Blue. Mine is green.
Husband: Just like before.
Me: Yeah, blue is for boys, I get whatever other color was in the package.
That evening -
Husband (yelling from the bathroom): What color did you say my new toothbrush was?
Me: Blue - just like before. Just like always.
Husband: That's what I thought. But you have them on the wrong side, I got confused.
Me: The wrong side?
Husband: Mine is always on the right side, yours on the left. You switched them.
Me: But yours is blue, mine is green - what difference does it make which side they're on???
Husband: I'm switching them back - mine is on the right and yours is on the left.
Me: But they are two different colors - how difficult is it to tell them apart?
Husband: You switched them around, that's all. It confused me.
Me: (rolling my eyes and whispering to myself): Dear lord help me
Me: I put out new toothbrushes.
Husband: Good, I was thinking they needed to be changed. What color is mine?
Me: Blue. Mine is green.
Husband: Just like before.
Me: Yeah, blue is for boys, I get whatever other color was in the package.
That evening -
Husband (yelling from the bathroom): What color did you say my new toothbrush was?
Me: Blue - just like before. Just like always.
Husband: That's what I thought. But you have them on the wrong side, I got confused.
Me: The wrong side?
Husband: Mine is always on the right side, yours on the left. You switched them.
Me: But yours is blue, mine is green - what difference does it make which side they're on???
Husband: I'm switching them back - mine is on the right and yours is on the left.
Me: But they are two different colors - how difficult is it to tell them apart?
Husband: You switched them around, that's all. It confused me.
Me: (rolling my eyes and whispering to myself): Dear lord help me
Monday, October 17th
Husband: Happy Birthday!
Me: Thanks, sweetie. Is there coffee?
Husband: All set-up, just hit the button. Are you going to open your birthday cards?
Me: Sure - you didn't have to get me any cards.
Husband: Well you know yesterday when I went to the store to get your cards...well, I got everything else I went out for but this morning I realized I forgot to get you a card. I'm so sorry. I scrounged around my desk and found these. I'm so sorry.
Me: Honey, it's no problem. You didn't have to. Really.
Husband: I feel so bad. I swear I'm getting Alzheimer's.
Me: It's okay - honestly - it's okay! (Opening cards).
Me: (reading): "I would have gotten you flowers but those darn cats just eat them. This picture of flowers will have to do". Awww ::laughing::
Husband: It's one of those cards those places send you for free when they are asking for money. If you ever get sick I have tons of sympathy cards...
Me: Yeah, I've got a ton of those too. (Opening second card)
Husband: That's the handmade card we bought from that lady on the street.
Me: Oh yeah - I remember. ::looking at the card closely:: Honey - this is a Chistmas Card - see it says "Happy Holidays".
Husband: On my god, I saw the happy and just assumed it was a birthday card. I am sooo sorry. I swear it's Alzheimer's.
Me: ::Laughing so hard I am choking - banging on the table - falling out of my chair::
Husband: You're supposed to be the old one - not me! Well at least you got a good laugh out of this. I suppose this will go on the conversation blog..
Me: Oh, yeah - Big time.
Me: Thanks, sweetie. Is there coffee?
Husband: All set-up, just hit the button. Are you going to open your birthday cards?
Me: Sure - you didn't have to get me any cards.
Husband: Well you know yesterday when I went to the store to get your cards...well, I got everything else I went out for but this morning I realized I forgot to get you a card. I'm so sorry. I scrounged around my desk and found these. I'm so sorry.
Me: Honey, it's no problem. You didn't have to. Really.
Husband: I feel so bad. I swear I'm getting Alzheimer's.
Me: It's okay - honestly - it's okay! (Opening cards).
Me: (reading): "I would have gotten you flowers but those darn cats just eat them. This picture of flowers will have to do". Awww ::laughing::
Husband: It's one of those cards those places send you for free when they are asking for money. If you ever get sick I have tons of sympathy cards...
Me: Yeah, I've got a ton of those too. (Opening second card)
Husband: That's the handmade card we bought from that lady on the street.
Me: Oh yeah - I remember. ::looking at the card closely:: Honey - this is a Chistmas Card - see it says "Happy Holidays".
Husband: On my god, I saw the happy and just assumed it was a birthday card. I am sooo sorry. I swear it's Alzheimer's.
Me: ::Laughing so hard I am choking - banging on the table - falling out of my chair::
Husband: You're supposed to be the old one - not me! Well at least you got a good laugh out of this. I suppose this will go on the conversation blog..
Me: Oh, yeah - Big time.
Wednesday, October 5th
Me: Don't buy these cookies any more. I've had enough of them to last a lifetime.
Husband: You know me - if you say you like something I'll keep buying it until you tell me to stop.
Me: STOP
Husband: But I'll keep buying the macaroons. I like them.
Me: You are like the cats - a creature of habit. You'll eat the same thing every day, day after day, for like forever. Some of us aren't like that. You ever hear variety is the spice of life?
Husband: You like spice, I don't.
Husband: You know me - if you say you like something I'll keep buying it until you tell me to stop.
Me: STOP
Husband: But I'll keep buying the macaroons. I like them.
Me: You are like the cats - a creature of habit. You'll eat the same thing every day, day after day, for like forever. Some of us aren't like that. You ever hear variety is the spice of life?
Husband: You like spice, I don't.
Tuesday, October 4th
Me: Do you want a funeral when you die?
Husband: No.
Me: Me either. Funerals are for the living not the dead. I find them weird.
Husband: Just cart the body to the nearest and cheapest crematorium. But do it quickly before my family finds out. Tho I don't think they would care. Plus you don't really want to keep a dead body around.
Me: I know - rotting meat - not something I would keep in the house. Cemeteries are basically landfills. On one hand I know why people do that but I still think it's a waste of good land. What should I do with your ashes?
Husband: Have no idea, and don't care.
Me: I always figured to have them put in a nice urn and keep it on a bookshelf. I always wanted to have my ashes put in a lucite cube and then kept on the coffee table. That way I could still be part of everything. "Oh, yeah - that's crazy Aunt Grace"
Husband: You've said that before.
Me: I decided that years and years and years ago.
Husband: ::laughing:: Years and years? Well, if you die before me, which I doubt, I always planned to scatter your ashes in Central Park.
Me: Oh, that would be lovely - thanks! But you would have to do it surreptitiously - they frown on that sort of thing.
Husband: Well I thought I would divide up the ashes in small pouches and scatter them a little here, a little there.
Me: If you're careful, that should work.
Husband: No.
Me: Me either. Funerals are for the living not the dead. I find them weird.
Husband: Just cart the body to the nearest and cheapest crematorium. But do it quickly before my family finds out. Tho I don't think they would care. Plus you don't really want to keep a dead body around.
Me: I know - rotting meat - not something I would keep in the house. Cemeteries are basically landfills. On one hand I know why people do that but I still think it's a waste of good land. What should I do with your ashes?
Husband: Have no idea, and don't care.
Me: I always figured to have them put in a nice urn and keep it on a bookshelf. I always wanted to have my ashes put in a lucite cube and then kept on the coffee table. That way I could still be part of everything. "Oh, yeah - that's crazy Aunt Grace"
Husband: You've said that before.
Me: I decided that years and years and years ago.
Husband: ::laughing:: Years and years? Well, if you die before me, which I doubt, I always planned to scatter your ashes in Central Park.
Me: Oh, that would be lovely - thanks! But you would have to do it surreptitiously - they frown on that sort of thing.
Husband: Well I thought I would divide up the ashes in small pouches and scatter them a little here, a little there.
Me: If you're careful, that should work.
Sunday, October 2nd
Me: Are you watching tv?
Husband: Yeah.
Me: You have the sound off?
Husband: Yeah
Me: Why?
Husband: Don't really care what they're saying.
Me: What are you watching?
Husband: Football.
Me: You're watching football. With the sound off...Who's playing?
Husband: Not sure - want me to check?
Me: Nooo. So why are you watching something you have no interest in?
Husband: I finished my book. Don't want to do any more work. It's just something to pass the time.
Me: I do not understand this at all. Nope.
Husband: Yeah.
Me: You have the sound off?
Husband: Yeah
Me: Why?
Husband: Don't really care what they're saying.
Me: What are you watching?
Husband: Football.
Me: You're watching football. With the sound off...Who's playing?
Husband: Not sure - want me to check?
Me: Nooo. So why are you watching something you have no interest in?
Husband: I finished my book. Don't want to do any more work. It's just something to pass the time.
Me: I do not understand this at all. Nope.
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