Me: Do you want the chicken cut in chunks or slivers?
Husband: I don't care - Wait. Will I have to cut it if it's in slivers? Better make it chunks.
Me; What do you have against cutting your food?
Husband: I don't like to do it.
Me: Why?
Husband: I'm just lazy I guess.
Me: Lazy? That's beyond lazy. That's the ultimate lazy. Maybe I should just chew your food for you and spit it down your throat, like birds do.
Husband: *Laughing* No that's okay - just cut it in bite sized pieces.
Me: Maybe we should just buy you baby food - it's all pureed you wouldn't even have to chew.
Husband: *Distractedly* Yeah, maybe - that's an idea.
Sunday, April 5th
Me: I'd like to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond this week, rather than Target.
Husband: Why?
Me: I need a dish rack and a mirror for by the door. The one we have is in rough shape.
Husband: We've had that mirror a long time.
Me: Since 1989 - we bought it in that discount store near Newport - Caldor's or something?
Husband: I'll take your word for it - you remember things like that.
Me: You said that you were tired of those wall decals in the hall so I thought I get a mirror for there too. You can put the decals somewhere else if you like.
Husband: I don't notice them anymore, I think the trash is a good place to put them.
Me: And I think I'll hang your present over there (pointing across the room). You haven't seen it yet but I think it will look nice just there.
Husband: Remind me again why you bought me a present...
Me: It's for our 25th wedding anniversary on Tuesday...
Husband: Do I have to get you something? You buy yourself whatever you need.
Me: No you don't have to buy me anything, and besides, it's a milestone anniversary, a gift should be something sentimental.
Husband: Oh, okay because I have no idea what I would get for you.
Me: That's okay, babe.
Husband: Why?
Me: I need a dish rack and a mirror for by the door. The one we have is in rough shape.
Husband: We've had that mirror a long time.
Me: Since 1989 - we bought it in that discount store near Newport - Caldor's or something?
Husband: I'll take your word for it - you remember things like that.
Me: You said that you were tired of those wall decals in the hall so I thought I get a mirror for there too. You can put the decals somewhere else if you like.
Husband: I don't notice them anymore, I think the trash is a good place to put them.
Me: And I think I'll hang your present over there (pointing across the room). You haven't seen it yet but I think it will look nice just there.
Husband: Remind me again why you bought me a present...
Me: It's for our 25th wedding anniversary on Tuesday...
Husband: Do I have to get you something? You buy yourself whatever you need.
Me: No you don't have to buy me anything, and besides, it's a milestone anniversary, a gift should be something sentimental.
Husband: Oh, okay because I have no idea what I would get for you.
Me: That's okay, babe.
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