Me: I'm so proud of myself.
Husband: Whyyyyy?
Me: I've learned to get to sleep in spite of all your snoring, snorting and ugly mouth-breathing noises.
Husband: So that means you can get used to any thing?
Me: I guess - but in the 15 or 20 minutes it takes me to nod off I still want to shoot you.
Husband: If there were something I could do about it I would.
Me: Well there is a solution but you wouldn't like it.
Husband: What?
Me: One of those c-pap machines.
Husband: Don't they make noise?
Me: I don't know but I do know they are uncomfortable.
Husband: ---
Me: It's a good thing we don't have guns in the house because I would put a bullet through your brain.
Husband: ::laughs::
